The Dark-Humour Christmas Cracker

We’ve all had too many disappointing

BANGS

Improve your pulling this year;

by pulling off Father Christmas or Rudolph's head. Whose noggin will roll like a Christmas log(in)?!

*We do not condone violence in any forms, and the concept of pulling their heads off is intended as a playful joke. Obviously.

Give your bland Christmas Dinner a bit of

SPICE

Forget about a lame joke;

we'll supply you with a spicy Christmas insult to sting a loved one - and an extra one for them to hit you back!

**Our insults are not meant to cause harm, please do not direct them towards people with a sensitive disposition. Seriously, please.
Please note: each box of 6 crackers contains the same 12 insults.

Don't be disappointed by at least one

PRESENT

No more fighting over nail clippers or a pointless plastic frog;

every cracker includes an awesome branded metal bottle-opener keychain.

***Please pull the crackers away from your face and others, so that nothing flies out and hits you in the eyes. It's common sense.

And remember the true meaning of Christmas:

WINNING

Don't worry about wearing an embarrassing coloured paper hat;

celebrate by crowning yourself the Anti-Christmas King or Queen with our stylish black paper crown. 

****We didn't want to break format with the cautionary notes, so I dunno... don't eat your paper crown, I guess. Not yum.

Plus, stick it to Christmas and

LONELINESS

Not everyone is so lucky at Christmas;

so whilst you’re pulling a cracker with your mate, you can help put a smile on the face of someone who isn’t able to join the fun.

Find out more